No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
