well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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