careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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