It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
