Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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