So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
