glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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