Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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