I am in a vortex of obligation.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Randomize
