check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
