Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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