You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
