she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Where is the hickey?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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