Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
