do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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