Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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