Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
