If i come over, it means nothing
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
