we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
