We're facebook friends in real life
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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