you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
