Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
