Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
