How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
