how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
