what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
