it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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