you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
