I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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