butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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