I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I am naked and annoyed.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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