At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
