i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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