Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
