i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
