a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Someone signed my nipple.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
