obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
