i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
