Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
