omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
