And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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