Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
