D3 body, D1 cock
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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