Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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