She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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