i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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