I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
What drink are we having for lunch?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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