ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
