I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
