We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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