we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
