What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
